Content Communicating

No baby yet, although I was contracting all freaking night long and am now too exhausted to even think about labor. I just found this on my friends blog and cracked up- For our anniversary my sweet mother gave us a certain audio cd about marriage which basically points out that the way I expect Daniel to read my mind and understand what I am really saying when I say something totally opposite is just so wrong- but I figure he has been through the frustration of figuring it out, and now has it figured out mostly, so why let that go to waste?- Anyway I read this and feel justified in my dysfunctional communication-

9 words women use:

1. FINE-This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes-If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing-This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine.

4. Go Ahead-This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh-This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A Loud Sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about Nothing (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of Nothing.)

6. That's Okay-This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's Okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks-A woman is thanking you; do not question or faint. Just say "you're welcome." (Note: this is true unless she says "Thanks A Lot"-that is PURE sarcasm ans she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome"...that will bring on a Whatever.)

8. Whatever-This is a woman's way of saying DROP DEAD!

9. Don't Worry About It, I Got It-Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in the man asking "what's wrong?" For the woman's response, refer to #3.