My lovely surgery is scheduled for Monday. And while I know its not a big deal, signing away my life at both pre-ops has me just a tad nervous. My Dr tells me he has never had a patient die during surgery, but then I reminded him that he hadnt had a patient with a rogue IUD before either. He tells me it should be a quick surgery, says it should take less than 15 minutes. Of course, last month when he did some procedure to find the IUD it was only suppose to take 5 minutes, but ended up being more like 45. And of course in all the paper work that one needs to read and sign, it says "risks include: infection, bleeding, nerve injury,altered personality(just kidding about that one) blood clots, heart attack, pneumonia and need for additional surgery." That is followed with "These risks are serious and possibly fatal." So I have to ask myself- am I feeling lucky?
I get to starve myself for a good twelve hours before surgery, and then they tell me that I most likely will be puking from the anesthesia once I come to a state of conciousness. Not my preferred choice of dieting. I am also not allowed to wear make-up the day of the surgery. Not that I wear a lot anyway, but what I do use is kinda vital for the sake of humanity. Yes, I am vain- but really- I feel naked without it.
My post-op care instructions tell me that I will need to avoid activities that require much concentration. I guess I will need an interpreter to understand what my Bennie-boy wants/needs/ or is trying to say. Also, it says I shouldnt lift objects such as laundry and kids until the incision heals. So I might need to hire and nanny and a maid for 2 weeks. I am also told to avoid going up and down the stairs for the first 2 days. How is that suppose to work exactly- especially at nap time and bed time since all the bedrooms are upstairs?
My Dr asked me if I want to keep the IUD once he removes it, you know to frame and hang on our wall. I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed or entertained by that question.
8 comments:
Kimmy, I am so sorry you have to go through this, however I am positive that everything will be fine. I wish i could be there to help you with your kids but instead We will keep you in our prayers and Thoughts.
Hilarious! I love all the unrealistic instructions that come with your operation. . . kind of like after you have a kid you're supposed to sit there with your feet up eating bon bons Whatever! Good luck. Hope all goes well.
I agree with Julie, Hilarious. That post really made me laugh. But really - good luck with everything. I wish I was close by so I could help and pamper you too. Is your mom or anyone coming to help out for a while?
P.S. I don't like to leave the house without my "mask" (that's what I call my makeup) on too.
So even though I am not in the circle of trust and had no idea that you had a rogue IUD and needed it extracted, I would love to help you out. I will talk to you tomorrow in church and we can decide how and when and what I can do for you. You will be fine so no worries. I have faith!
I don't know whether to laugh at what you wrote or to to cry for what your are about to go through. I will be thinking of you. You will be fine... the worst part will having to be make-upless I am sure! And if you are the one in 1000, can I have your girl?
Best of luck to you. I'm sorry you have to go through that. Let me know if I can help in anyway!
I'm sure all will go well for you!
Hope everything goes well with the surgery. I love how they ask you not to do tasks that are done on a daily basis.
Yikes, no fun! I'm glad I read this in time to say a prayer for you. I know everything will be fine though. I hope your recovery isn't too bad. HUGS!
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