My lovely surgery is scheduled for Monday. And while I know its not a big deal, signing away my life at both pre-ops has me just a tad nervous. My Dr tells me he has never had a patient die during surgery, but then I reminded him that he hadnt had a patient with a rogue IUD before either. He tells me it should be a quick surgery, says it should take less than 15 minutes. Of course, last month when he did some procedure to find the IUD it was only suppose to take 5 minutes, but ended up being more like 45. And of course in all the paper work that one needs to read and sign, it says "risks include: infection, bleeding, nerve injury,altered personality(just kidding about that one) blood clots, heart attack, pneumonia and need for additional surgery." That is followed with "These risks are serious and possibly fatal." So I have to ask myself- am I feeling lucky?
I get to starve myself for a good twelve hours before surgery, and then they tell me that I most likely will be puking from the anesthesia once I come to a state of conciousness. Not my preferred choice of dieting. I am also not allowed to wear make-up the day of the surgery. Not that I wear a lot anyway, but what I do use is kinda vital for the sake of humanity. Yes, I am vain- but really- I feel naked without it.
My post-op care instructions tell me that I will need to avoid activities that require much concentration. I guess I will need an interpreter to understand what my Bennie-boy wants/needs/ or is trying to say. Also, it says I shouldnt lift objects such as laundry and kids until the incision heals. So I might need to hire and nanny and a maid for 2 weeks. I am also told to avoid going up and down the stairs for the first 2 days. How is that suppose to work exactly- especially at nap time and bed time since all the bedrooms are upstairs?
My Dr asked me if I want to keep the IUD once he removes it, you know to frame and hang on our wall. I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed or entertained by that question.
Anyway- since I most likely wont be blogging until after this event, I want to say (in case I happen to be one of the 1 in 1,000 who dies from surgery) my dear friends, family/relatives and that one blurker that reads my blog from the ukraine, I love you all! Seriously I do. My life has been blessed by each of you. And please dont let Daniel sell any of the kids if I dont make it through. OH- and since I am not the bigger person- dont encourage Daniel to get married again cuz HE IS MINE! Not only am I a tad dramatic- I am also a tad possessive.