Sunday, May 15, 2011
I dont know why I feel the need to put the disclaimer- but I use my blog as my journal, and I need some kind of record of my babys arrival into this world, so I put it here, not so much to entertain anyone else, but for my own history. So if you read my blog, you have been warned..this probably wont be interesting to you...but feel free to skim through the pictures!
After getting my kids to school, I called the dr office and they wanted me to see one of the drs. I was scheduled for one of my NSTs at one, so they scheduled a dr appt right after that. The NST took 30 minutes, and then I had to wait for 3 flippin hours to see the dang dr. I explained what had been going on, and what I suspected since I had the same thing happen with a previous pregnancy. Anyway he checked me and I was at a 4..which I was surprised about cuz it's usually after I get to a 3 that things have happened quickly for me. But I hadnt been contracting since that previous night. Anyway the dr sent me to triage so they could run some tests. I quickly came home, found an angel of a friend to watch the kids, and Daniel and I got to spend several hours in triage.
Anyway around 4 in the morning my Dr came in and we had a nice little chat-(can I just say I hate being in a hospital gown, just waking up after not having had a decent sleep, not having brushed my teeth or having a shower or having my makeup on, and having to be "seen" by anyone. I'm so vain...but geez I felt really embarrassed.) Anyway he told me my electrolytes werent "slightly out of balance" but "crazy, scary out of balance." So what he wanted to do was stabalize me(meaning keeping that iv pumping stuff through my veins for a few more hours, then doing blood tests again, then if i was within a more normal range, they would start the pitocin and induce labor.
Daniel then took the kids home, and my postpartum nurse came in and holy moly was this lady a character. She very much knew this was my 5th baby as we talked about it, but she went through every single detail of childcare and recovery with me as if I had never done this before. She literally showed me how to change a diaper, how to check the babys temperature, how to burp the baby, how to care for the umbilical chord, how to nurse, and all sorts of other things-- she didnt leave my room until 2 am----and came back an hour and a half later to do vitals again! so by Wednesday morning I was beyond ready to get out of that hospital and get some sleep and get back to my routine, but the dang pediatrician wouldnt let me leave until 24 hours exactly, after time of birth arrived. Blasted all- so I had yet another entire day of no sleep, nurses and drs coming in and out, and then finally the hour arrived, and we came home.
my sweet Daniel had cleaned the house, and my sweet sweet friend had come over with the little boys the day before and had tied some adorable balloons to the chairs and had the cutest packages on the table-it was just a sweet homecoming.
My mom has a herniated disc in her back, and has been in extreme pain this past month, and we werent sure if she was going to be able to come down, but miraculously things worked out and even though she still is in constant pain, it wasnt quite as severe as it had previously been. One of my awesome brothers ararnged to fly them down here, and we got spoiled for an entire week. My kids got so much love and attention, grandma helped with homework, and loved and held the baby, she took over so I could catch up on some sleep, watched the kids so I could get dr appointments and errands done, and even kept me up on my laundry and dishes-(even though I told her a million times not to) Grandpa helped fix a few things around the house, and helped us with our dang sprinkler system that we havent had time to figure out since we moved into this house, and played many a games with the kids as well. Their help got us through this past week, no doubt. But now that they are back home, and we are facing this week without them, I am starting to get a little panicky. Daniel and I think my mom should just move in with us for a while. :)
Anyway- this baby is just the sweetest little guy. He is so calm and peaceful. He has an aura of wisdom about him...Daniel was trying to come up with a name that tied into "wise one." :) The kids all love him and love holding him and giving him hug and kisses. I, too, love holding him and smelling him and just having him here. Truly his presence in our home and in our family has had a calming effect on me. The miracle of life never ceases to amaze me and strengthen my testimony that Heavenly Father is in charge, that He is aware, that He is brilliant, and that He is the source of life and of love. How grateful I am that He sent this one to me. How grateful I am that things went ok- the scary thing to me is that I could have gone into labor sunday night and could have suffered a heart attack with things being out of balance, and considering that I was at a 4 for over 24 hours and hadnt gone into labor but was able to get things stabalized before hand, I believe my Heavenly Father allowed me to have the time I needed to get things back in balance, and allowed things to work out for our family the way they did. It's pretty miraculous to me, and I am so thankful to my Father in Heaven for the miracles i have witnessed in my life. And I am so thankful that my sweet Daniel holds the priesthood and was able to use that gift at the time we needed Heavenly Fathers help.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
I have written posts about my feelings of adding another boy to our home, written how I questioned my Father in Heavens plan for our family...how the thought was overwhelming many, many, many times as we were expecting this little one.
But now that this absolutely precious boy is here, I honestly cant imagine loving anyone more. In the 5 days he has been alive, there has been such a peace and calmness that arrived in my usually anxiety ridden/OCD-ed heart. There is (amid the frustrations from everyone adjusting here and there(ie:fighting, whining, temper tantrums, basically just needing a little reassurance and love and attention)) a new feeling of love and a new little piece of heaven in our home.
And as today is a day devoted to celebrating the wonderful blessing of mothers/motherhood, my mind has been constantly drawn into a prayer of Thanksgiving to my Father in Heaven for allowing my pathetic weak self to have the blessing of having Kylie, Tyler, James, Ben, and now my sweet Baby Matty to be a mother to.
There are many nights before climbing into bed that I think "well today was a BIG FAILURE on my part! I yelled at the kids, lost my temper, overreacted to something stupid, spent too much time cleaning my house instead of playing games with my kids, too much time nagging about homework and not nearly enough hugs or "love yous!" But even so, I do try, ...each day I try to do a little better because mothering is the most important job to me in the world. There is absolutely NOTHING that I would rather be doing, even though it is so hard sometimes, so overwhelming, so under-appreciated, so worrisome, so emotionally involved, so draining, and sometimes even a little bit lonely, but it's also the most joyful, precious, hilarious, and sacred gift i can imagine.
These sweet children that have been sent to Daniel and I do seem to teach us more than we seem to teach them, but while they are in their youth, we are so grateful that we get to be the ones watching them learn and grow, being the ones who protect them, being the ones that try to teach them, being the ones that get to hold them, sing to them, celebrate with them, tuck them in at night and then yell down the hall for them to "STOP TALKING AND GO TO SLEEP!," the ones who grind our teeth when we've told them to stop tattling, or fighting, or wrestling, or told them for the seemingly millionth time to clean up that mess, yet also the ones who get the hugs, or the snuggles, or the "you re my favorite, mommy/daddy!" Really- how does life get any sweeter than the precious moments of mother&father-hood?
So yes, my heart is full today, and what makes it even more special is that for the first time since I became a mom, my own dear mother is here with me and my family today. As I watch her hold my baby, watch her talk to, play with, and love my kids, I have to hold back the tears. There are 3 constants in my life- the first being my Savior. The 2nd my dear mother, and the 3rd, my Daniel. I've written lots about how much i love, adore, appreciate, and sometimes even get frustrated with my Daniel. I have written a few posts sharing little parts of my testimony and love of my Savior. And I have written a post or 2 about my dear mom..but words really can't express how deep my gratitude/love/&admiration for this amazing woman goes. Like Ive shared before, she has this gift of loving..this perfect charity. Her testimony and faith has brought many miracles into my life, and the lives of my siblings. Her perfect mothering, her gentle encouraging, her never failing support... She is, next to the Savior, the most perfect example I have to follow. It is my goal to be the mother to my kids, that she has been and will always be to me. I don't know why I got so lucky, so blessed to have her as my mother, but again, I thank my Father in Heaven that I did/do.
And now that this post has taken me 2 hours to do..(since I'm doing it one handed as I have a sleeping tiny baby in my other) I think i shall finally lay him down and go take a shower. :)