Thinking back

Yesterday we celebrated Bennie-boo's birthday. He was one happy kid all day long, and that just made me happy. And since I am such a slacker with zilch energy lately I didnt get any pictures. I'm terrible!!! But i wanted to write my thoughts on this little one of mine.

When I was pregnant with Ben,and found out he was a boy- I was slightly surprised cuz i thought i was gonna have a girl, and we would have 4 kids, and we would be complete. (But 3 boys was much easier to wrap my brain around than 4!) However, once we had our little Ben, I couldnt have loved him more. From day one this boy has been a snuggler. I seriously love that he still is. If he sees an open lap, he is there in a flash. He is my happy go lucky kid, He has brought such a sweetness into our home and I honestly cant picture our family without him.
Obviously I am pregnant with our 4th boy- and many times throughout this pregnancy Ive had moments of "another boy?" freak-out-ed-ness. But knowing how much we love and need our Bennie-boo, how much love he brings to our family- well, lets just say those moments still come,(especially when all 3 of my boys are fighting/wrestling/screaming/causing all sorts of mayhem/and destroying) but i just have to look at my Bennie-boo and the freak-out-ed-ness is replaced with laughter and a looking-forward-ness to more of this mostly-fun-loving-craziness in our lives with yet another boy.
And just for record sake, I asked Ben what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday a couple weeks back, and he said "a cookie cake, like daddys."  I thought, thats easy enough, until the next week he changed his mind to "a mario cake like toastys." Then it was back to the cookie cake, then back to the mario cake, then an elmo cake, then a "blue toad from mario world" cake, then back to the cookie cake, then back to the mario, then it was a froggy cake, then phineas and ferb cake, then back to the froggy cake...so after he changed his mind 100 times- i made up the froggy cake, and surprisingly it turned out pretty decent considering how lacking I am in the cake decorating skills department. Anyway I document this little tidbit of information cuz Ben takes after his daddy in a lot of things, but apparently he is a little nuts like his mom when trying to make a decision. And that just cracks me up.

same old stuff

My dad has a little saying..."same old stuff, different day"- and that is pretty much how life has been the past few weeks. And that's just fine by me. We are getting all ready for the baby, although I still have several weeks to go. But it does feel good getting prepared. Daniel and I are trying to put our brains into baby mode again. Diapers, bottles, binkys, burp clothes, formula, spit up, no sleep, ...we feel like we've been out of it for so long, although its only been 3 years, but boy, do babies grow and change quickly. All in all we are getting so excited to meet this baby, excited to count his tiny fingers and toes, excited not be be pregnant anymore, but instead hold him close, and just so excited for all the joy and love and new baby brings.
So being ever so pregnant, I have been trying my best to keep up with my walking, and since I have absolutely no energy to do it in the mornings anymore, I am walking in the early evenings. When I was able to get up in the mornings, I would go before my kids got up and while Daniel was getting ready for work..but now, since Daniel is at work in the early evenings and I have my kids to take care of, we go to a nearby park and they play while I walk around the little sidewalk track. Last week we had stopped in at the dollar store and the kids picked up some little buckets and shovels, and decided they wanted to take them to the park. So I'm walking and am just kind of in my own world with my thoughts but as I came around by the playground and passed them,  I had one of those precious moments where I looked at all of them, busy in their digging adventures and had to brush away a tear or two as my heart felt so immensely full. There are so many moments where I am driven a little insane by the craziness of them all, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love being their mother and I love watching them grow and learn and I especially love the tender little moments when i look at all of them and everything else falls away and I recognize just how blessed I've been.

(someone please remind me of this after my new one is born and we are all going through our own adjustments and I'm grouchy as can be and am considering giving them all away- :) )

name game

My Daniel had his birthday last week. Since it was a weekday he had to work, but when he got home, the kids were sure excited to celebrate with him. We made  his favorite dinner, made a giant cookie cake, and had his homemade cards and presents from each of the kiddies to open.
Personally, I never know what to get for Daniel- he always comes up with the best  gifts for me, but I totally stink in the gift giving department for him, but this year I arranged to have a friend babysitt the kids overnight and we went to san diego for a little getaway! It rained and even snowed in the mountains between here and there on saturday, so we didnt get to go to the beach, but we did get to go to the temple, we got to go out to eat at some of our favorite places, and even did a little shopping. mostly we just enjoyed a little break from the everyday and enjoyed our time together.
So while on this little trip, Daniel threw a curve ball into my carefully planned ocd plans. When we traveled up to my moms for thanksgiving, we were all thinking we were gonna find out for sure we were having our baby girl, and we have had her name picked out FOREVER. But to be silly I told the kids and Daniel we needed to come up with a boy name "just in case."
Daniel is the worst with names- I have a huge list of names i really like and every single one of them he vetoes. He's done this with James and Ben and i find it quite frustrating cuz I like to have a name picked out from the moment I find out whether we are having a girl or boy so that I can call my baby by his/her name. Anyway I went through my list and Daniel, of course, vetoed everything, so in exasperation I was throwing out random weird names. And of course when I do that he actually ends up agreeing on them. I threw out Phineas in reference to Phineas and Ferb and Daniel was totally in to it. I thought he was being sarcastic, but he said he actually really like it. And he got all the kids calling the baby Phineas after that. I wasnt sold on the idea and thought it was weird, but after so many of my kids prayers asking for baby Phineas to grow healthy and strong, I ended up going along with it. in a weird way it was cute and come on, who doesnt love Phineas and ferb? Phineas is a child genius. SO he(the baby currently in utero) has been Phineas for a few months.
But on this little getaway Daniel drops the bomb on me that he now finds the name weird and doesnt want to name him that. im like "WHAT????!!!!????  I have got 9 weeks left--(7 if Im lucky and go 2 weeks early!!!! crossing my fingers!!) and you are telling this to me NOW- ummm do I need to remind you I am a little bit psycho and need to have things planned out or else I get a tense-(cough cough- ok maybe a lot tense) especially when I am pregnant and my hormones/emotions are all over the place-- you cant do that to me!" and im thinking isnt he the one that got us all hooked on that name anyway? But NOW he thinks its weird? What the flip? He's playing with fire.
So we have been going through names again. And again- everything I like- he doesnt.And yet he wont give me anything serious to work with. SO frustrating!!! I need my baby to have a name. Its driving me crazy.
So when I was pregnant with James, I loved the name Jaxon. I am all about the x in a name- its tough and cool and to tell the truth Jaxon Jackson is just AWESOME...in my opinion. But Daniel hated it. As did anyone else that I told that name to. I tried it again when expecting Ben, but again Daniel thought I was wack outta my mind. so when I threw it out this time around- Daniel actually mulls it over and tells me he likes it. Um--yeah...I cant tell if Daniel is pulling my leg, but since I suggested it he still seems to be on board.. Unless he wants to have the wrath of pregnant Kimmy to deal with, he better not be changing his mind again!
Last night when we were having family prayer, Toast was offering it, and got all upset and stopped right in the middle of his prayer to tell me he didnt "want to pray for baby Jack Jack"-(my favorite nickname....Incredibles anyone?) because "he is still baby Phineas!" Maybe he just needs a little time to adjust to the change...James actually likes it simply because he thinks he is Dash, Kylie is Violet, Daniel is Mr Incredible and I'm "the mom" (he is still trying to place Toast and Ben, but since he doesnt want to share his identity he's having a hard time cuz he doesnt want Syndrome/Buddy to be part of our family for Ty, and Ben cant be Frozone cuz "Frozone is just their friend but not an Incredible." But he is liking the idea of baby jack jack, and the fact he can turn himself "into fire or stone or the devil, and shoot lasers out of his eyes!" (I'm hoping my baby doesnt turn into the devil, or stone, or fire-- but the laser thing might be cool)
Honestly, I'm feeling anxious cuz i really dont think Daniel is seriously gonna let me name our baby Jaxon Jackson. We shall see. But really-- isnt it just a seriously awesome cool name?