Gifts given

Where did December go? We have been busy with recitals, parties, school programs, holiday traditions, and our travels, so no wonder its been about a month since I updated. Kylie did great with her piano recital. I couldnt find where the fetch she was mixed in with a billion other kids in her school program, but saw a lot of our cute neighbors. Daniel went to Toasts program and said he sang his little heart out. We made our traditional graham cracker gingerbread houses, visited the Christmas village, read our Christmas stories each night, walked around the neighborhood looking at all the yuma snowmen(inflatable) and all the twinkling lights, we listened to a million Christmas songs, delivered gifts, and then headed up to my beloved Utah. We spent 2 days in Logan with the in-laws, and then 2 days with my family. Daniel thinks we are at the point were we should travel up after Christmas, but since he is the unselfish one in our relationship, he drives us up each year so I can spend my most favorite day with my family, doing all the Christmas Eve traditions that make it my most favorite day, and then doing Christmas morning with grandma and grandpa.

I love getting gifts, and I love giving gifts, and I love seeing my kids light  up with excitement over their new treasures. I love getting new jammies, I love the new book my mom gives us Christmas eve, i love the kids acting out the nativity. I love love love Christmas! And I love the traditional love note I get from Daniel on Christmas mornings. truly that's my most favorite gift each year. I'm seriously so lucky to have this guy in my life.

Each year we kinda struggle with what to give my parents. They say they dont "need" anything, so we kinda scramble to find something that will be useful or meaningful...but I have noticed that each year my siblings and I seem to give my mom updated pictures of the grandkids- which she loves- but they always end up in her office, crowded on the counter. SO I emailed my siblings- and we formed a plan. This year we created a picture wall with the pictures of each grandchild. I took a few shots while we were up there for Thanksgiving, my sister-in-law took a few and sent them over to me, and another sister in law sent me ones she had done of her baby girl, so we printed them all up, framed them and wrapped them up for Christmas morning. It was really a joy to see my mom open each picture and see those sweet tender feelings come through her facial expressions. That was part one.



my mom is always busy. she works full time and on her off day she is busy cleaning, shopping, serving and the like. So i knew, as did my siblings, that she would love the pictures, but unless someone took charge, they wouldnt get hung up for a while. so part 2- was getting them hung up. First we had to have her approval on where to hang them all. Counting our Phineas and another baby on the way, my parents will have 30 grandkids. So we needed a BIG space. I gave my mom some options, and finally at 10 pm on Christmas night she finally decided which she liked best. I told the 2 guys how it was to be done, and Daniel and my dad got to work measuring and hanging it all up. I loved how it turned out, and loved that my mom and dad loved their gift this year.

I find it pretty amazing that my parents have raised 7 kids, 5 of which were boys..and that each of us..while we have our challenges and struggles and have given them many many gray hairs through the years..and continue to do so...we each have a testimony of the gospel, each of my brothers served a mission, each of us were married in the temple, and each of us are doing our best at teaching our children as well. I often get a little nervous wondering if my kids are gonna end up making good choices through their lives. I hope each of my boys will serve a mission, I hope each child will have a firm testimony of the gospel, of the plan of salvation, of the love their Father in Heaven and their savior Jesus Christ have for them, i hope they get married in the temple and have as much joy in their marriages and families and i have in mine- but I know they all have their agency, and that even if Daniel and i are teaching them, they may choose another way... and that thought kinda breaks my heart to think about, but I look at my parents and I think.... they did it.. and I have hope. My parents have never been blessed with riches when it comes to the worlds standards, but i look at my family, my siblings, their families and I think wow- they/we are rich indeed. we have each other, we have the gospel and that is something one cant put a price on.
Anyway- I hope that as my parents see this grandkid wall each day that they will know how much they are loved, how grateful my siblings and I are for them, for their influence, for their testimonies, for the way we were brought up and taught and loved. As i looked at that wall I just couldnt help but think of what a great legacy my parents have. 30 beautiful grandkids who are all being taught in their youth..and that it wouldnt have been that way without them. That was really a fun project/gift to give this year.
SO now that Christmas is done, we are on to the next adventure.
We bought a house!!! We've been renting this one for a couple of years and while its a good house, its TOO big for me. I am not a fan of stairs-especially when pregnant, and hate going up and down with a million loads of laundry, and hate hauling the vacuum up and down as well. So I am excited to have a house that will be easier to clean, one that fits our family a little better, and one that will be ours... I have a zillion projects already planned out for my dad to come and help us with and then when its all said and done- we will be getting ready for our little Phineas to start the next great adventure.
So for this next 3 weeks, I am trying to organize and clear out the clutter and unneeded items. Goodwill here we come. And I of course cant move into a house without an extreme Kimmy style scrub down. Daniel is so good to just roll with me on this, as he knows I become obsessive compulsive and with the added wacked out hormones I kick it up a notch from extreme to extremely extreme, but its gonna be GREAT!
SO if I slack in the blogging dept again this next month- I will play catchup when we are settled into our new home.

You've got to be kidding me!!!

****FYI---LONG AND PERSONAL POST*****For the sake of my posterity*****

We made a quick trip up to my moms for Thanksgiving this year. We have only spent one other Thanksgiving with my family and that was right after we were married. We usually cant justify 2 trips, as we go up for Christmas as well, but we do have a little tradition that we stick with, and it happened to be that the timing for this tradition worked out around Thanksgiving, so plans were made and what a trip it was.
My mom called us the night before we were suppose to travel telling us of this storm that was suppose to be one of the worst in 7 years..so we were a tad nervous. Traveling in blizzard conditions freaks me out just a bit, but we braved it, and lucky for us- the storm wasn't what it was cracked up to be. So we had no travel problems besides Kylie puking (as she always gets car sick whenever we travel to UT.) we got in, ate dinner with my parents, put the kids to bed and then headed to bed ourselves.
The next day was Thanksgiving, so we helped my mom with a few preparations for the feast, got in a little treadmill walking, and the kids had fun destroying grandmas house.  Then a few of my brothers and my sister and their families came over and feast we did. Then we cleaned up, and were able to visit for a while, then enjoyed a huge assortment of pies, before everyone headed home, and we put the kids down.
Then my sweet Daniel braved the dreaded black Friday(officially starting on Thursday night now) sale with me in the dreaded UT cold. We froze and spent hours in line telling each other that saving $40 bucks really couldn't be worth it, and vowed to never do it again.

Daniel went back to my moms and got a few hours of sleep while I pressed on with my sister in law and we hit 2 more stores- of course the big ticket items were already gone, but she and i both were able to get basically what we needed and hallelujah there is no more standing in lines for the rest of the season for us.
That afternoon my kids helped grandma decorate her Christmas tree and we were able to make a few visits to my siblings homes and enjoyed the chance to catch up.
Then my mom arranged with my uncle to make the "tradition" happen. (the tradition that this trip basically centered around.)
After a rogue IUD, a "fun" little surgery, a few months of trying, a miscarriage, and several more months of trying, I am finally pregnant.
I have been baby hungry for a while, and even though things are chaotic at are home with 4 kids, we have been anxious to add our caboose.
let me just give you a little glimpse into my psyche..I have 5 brothers. i love them. I have one sister. I love her. But the relationship between sisters is somewhat stronger (in my experience anyway) than the relationships between brothers and sisters. My sister is always the 2nd person to know(after my mom) when we are expecting, she always seems to know when we are wanting to add to our family before anyone else too, she is the one sibling that is there for every baby blessing, the sibling that i can talk to whenever i am stressing about my kids behavior, the sibling who understands a little bit better why I think the way I do, what struggles i have had, and what dreams i still hope for. We can go a month without talking, and yet when we do- there is no awkwardness- just fun catching up, and always plans for that sister getaway that never happens, but is fun to talk about anyway. So with having this sister bond myself, I desire that for my Kylie girl with all my  heart. I want her to have that sister. And she desperately wants a sister a well.
Obviously, we have 3 boys. And I love my boys. Love love love them. But holy moley they are INSANE! They never stop, just keep going going going all day long, they destroy, they yell, they climb, jump, destroy, make mess after mess after mess, destroy, throw rocks, manage to always track in lots of dirt and muck right after I have vacuumed and mopped the floors, they get a kick out of "potty-talk" and gross body functions, cause a scene whenever we are out in public,(especially at church), refuse to hold still for family prayers, are always in need of a haircut, get mean when I tell them to turn the video games off, never seem to aim quite right when peeing therefore causing me to have to sanitize the bathroom several times a day, and then there is the whacking and kung-fu and wrestling wrestling wrestling, the endless forts out of my clean sheets and blankets that I have to rewash and refold as they always sneak in snacks and end up crushing the snacks into every inch of their forts, they are loud, messy, and beyond energetic. And for the most part- it is fun. But sometimes I feel like I'm at my wits end, and the thought of adding another kid kinda freaks me out, but then I imagine a sweet baby girl just like my Kylie, one who is a very good natured baby, then as a toddler: one who colors on paper and not the walls or carpets or couches, one who loves to look at books without tearing all the pages out while laughing manically, one who is calm and quiet and content, one who uses "please" and "thank you", one who potty trains them self in a day, and I think- yeah that will be wonderful...
I had this image in my head- of our home being a peaceful one, once we added this baby girl. Kylie, Toast, James and Ben all have been praying for "Baby Ashley" to grow healthy and strong, cuz we all were just certain we were gonna have a girl..and we would be complete and I would get to put my feet up at the end of each day and eat jr mints by the boxful without gaining weight...   ummmm.... yeah- I apparently was living in some fantasy world for a moment.
So when we went to my uncles office and he did an ultrasound for us- I was more than shocked when he pointed out the BOY part. I looked at Daniel with a look of disbelief, then kinda laughed cuz this had to be a joke.

but no joke....My baby is ANOTHER BOY!

SO that's bringing the male children in our family up to 4. 4. four. F-o-u-r! 4! I cant do 4 boys right in a row. it is already chaos. It is already mayhem. And then when I think of the teenage years- there is no way we can deal with 4 boys going through puberty a year or 2 right after each other. Plus how are we suppose to pay the weekly grocery bill once they are all teenagers together? (again, I have 5 brothers and i know as teenagers they are like bottomless pits.) Plus, as a parent, isn't one suppose to be teaching their children, stuff like right from wrong, how to be respectful, responsible, hard working, independent, caring, generous, helpful, kind, a good friend, and hopefully get them all to the point were they choose to serve a mission? And teach them to love- teach them to honor women, teach them how to be a good husband and father? This is all quite daunting to me- I was already worried about getting 3 through all that- but 4? Dang. I dont know if i am gonna make it. I dont know if my house and furniture will remain standing for much longer through these young formative years as it is.
Quite honestly, I have been in shock. and the kids(well the youngest 2 were like- "whatever"-)( but ky and ty) were really disappointed, and Daniel was surprised as well. and my mom just laughed. (again-  5 brothers. she's been through it.(plus one more) and i have taken that laugh not to be malicious, but as in- "good luck daughter- you're gonna need it") which i totally do! 4 boys? I cant be the mom of 4 boys!

And the kicker-- i don't feel complete. so as much as i hate being pregnant, as much as i hate puking my guts out for the first 2 months straight, then having terrible back pain, shortness of breath, having to pee a million times a day, being exhausted beyond exhausted, feeling yucky, and fat, and ugly, being an emotional roller coaster, having round ligament pain as i just get bigger and bigger, getting irritated by every stupid thing that shouldn't matter, getting grossed out by any weird smell, and then in the last trimester having to deal with the sciatic nerve making it almost impossible to walk without being in horrid pain, getting no sleep, feeling stretched as can be, dealing with all the stinking braxton hicks and then all the back pain that makes me feel like I'm on fire when I actually go into labor, and then having the miracle of a new life come into our world, but also having no sleep for several months and trying to somehow fit back into non maternity clothes when one barely has time to keep up with the laundry and the feedings, and everything else, let alone "working out." ---so as much as i hate all that-- in the back of my mind i have a strong urge to go through it again and be the mother of 6 (s i x, 6) kids, because i don't feel complete- i know i have a baby girl. (and this is probably the point where Daniel decides a little "snip snip" doesn't sound so horrible after all. hahaha)
so all week I've been having these little conversations in my head with my Heavenly Father and I keep asking him  if he's really thought this through, and then am like- dude, (not to be sac religious, but sometimes my mind is so blown that "dude" is really the only expression i can think of) so I'm like dude-- what are you thinking? you know me better than anyone, and while yes, i love my boys, and i am so thankful for them and yes they bring an indescribable joy and my heart gets so full when i look at them all tucked in at night sleeping away, and I'm thinking- wow- i love these little punks- and i am brought to sweet tears with the spontaneous hugs and the random "you're my favoritest mommy" or the simple but heartfelt "i love you mommy"  or the pathetic little weed flowers they find outside and bring to me to make me happy, or the little notes with a picture that they drew "just for (me)" -and I'm thankful for the funny moments of watching them dance their little dance moves, or hear the running of little feet when one of them wakes up at 3 to come get in our bed, and then they snuggle in as close as they can to me, and while i love the hilariousness from the random things they say or think about, - while yes i feel so grateful for all that and love all that and again i love them so much and am overwhelmed with gratitude that they have been entrusted to me---dear father-- you know i get so frustrated, you know there are so many nights when i cry to you cuz i worry about them, cuz i feel like a failure, cuz i cant do it all, you know i try to be patient but after telling them a hundred times over not to do something, they still continue to do it and i want to pull my hair out, you know i don't always find every moment full of joy, you know that i get tired, you know that a lot of the time i am doing it by myself while Daniel is working late trying to provide for us and that sometimes i feel so alone or trapped and really just want a break that i rarely get, you know that i fail to understand, that some days i let them watch dora over and over cuz i cant find the energy to read to them and try to deal with them ripping up the books as we do so. You know that after we have spent money on food for the kids and my 2 youngest get into everything and smash it into bits so that its all been one big waste of time and money that i just fume and really want to spank their little butts. You know that sometimes I yell at them. You know all this! so really,  one more of this kind really might just put me over the edge!!!  so really? really? another boy? really?


But every time i have this little talking to with my Father in Heaven, after I've ranted and expressed my insecurities and my feelings that i know i shouldn't have but have anyway- there is this feeling that washes over me, ever so gently, and i feel in my heart the answer that-" yes Kimmy, this is my plan. this little one- my little child, my son, needs you, and Daniel, and Kylie, and Tyler, and James and Ben. he needs the ward you are in, the friends you are surrounded by, he needs these aunt and uncles, these cousins, these grandparents. he needs this family line. I know you get frustrated with your kids, but I also know where your heart is. I know you are capable. I know you are teaching them, you love them, you take care of them. I know it feels like they don't listen and they aren't learning, but Kimmy, I know they are. Remember what it says in your patriarchal blessing about these little ones I've entrusted to you. Trust me, Kimmy. And just do the best you can and i will be there. I always am. And remember this little one is mine, after all. And HIS coming to you at this time is, again, part of my plan. (which i should know after having the special revelations given to us stating the same thing when James entered this world- obviously i am a slow learner) and you need him. And Kimmy- I know you make mistakes, and I know your kids make mistakes, but that is why I sent my Beloved Son, Jesus Christ into the world. I let Him suffer, so that you and your kids can have a way back. He is there to help you, He understands exactly how you feel. He understands exactly how your kids feel. And He is there to lead you, to guide you, to walk beside you. So Kimmy..just trust..and "my peace give i unto you. neither let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid."
and then following these moments, i know in my heart that yeah- adding one more boy is gonna bring even more chaos, it is gonna bring more frustrations, more tears when i fail, it's gonna put me at my wits end many a time over- but it is also gonna bring even more love and joy and extreme happiness. its gonna teach me lessons i need to learn, its gonna bring me moments of heaven on earth and glimpses into the eternities. So i do feel peace.
for a few minutes anyway, until I see the piles of clean clothes that have been  taken out of the drawers and thrown all over, the pee covered toilet seat and the floor surrounding it, wet with yellow liquid as well,  the crumbs smashed on the floor, the fridge door wide open and the milk spilled all over, the stick and rocks that get brought into the house, the dvds all out of their cases, lots with scratches that will make them impossible to watch, and some of them broken right in half, the yogurt smeared on the carpet, the walls scribbled on in permanent marker, and the 2 youngest boys climbing onto the highest spot they can find and jumping off it while trying out new tricks that luckily haven't made them quadriplegics thus far,) and again i think, "you've got to be kidding me!"
Heaven help us!

THEY"RE BACK!!!!!

I love this time of year for many many reasons-- and I'm sure I've posted many of those reason before, but 2 of my many favorite things about this month and next are 1) MINT M&M'S!!!! and 2) Clementine cuties!

The day after Oct 31st, I had to run to the store to get a few necessities we had run out of,  and I knew the stores would be getting their Christmas sections up, so I searched for the mint m&ms, but stinking walmart didnt have them. They had all the many holiday flavored kisses, candy canes, even all the other regular candies that are just packaged in reds and greens for the holiday, but no mint m&ms. I was disappointed for a minute, but thought- hey walgreens is right next door- they totally will have them- so we ran into walgreens- but they didnt have them either.So I was disappointed for the rest of the day. The next day I had to run over to target and thought hey- I know they have their Christmas section up, I will totally score the mint m&ms there. But sadly, they had their Christmas stuff up, but NO CHRISTMAS CANDY! How can you have a Christmas section without Christmas candy? come on now. Then on Wednesday I had to run in to Albertsons, and of course they didnt have anything Christmasy out by then, and figured if I really wanted those mint m&ms I was gonna have to take matters into my own hands and get on line and find somewhere that could ship me a whole crateful. But once I got home I forgot about my brilliant plan while trying to deal with the wild ones. So on Saturday when I was doing the grocery shopping, I swung into the Christmas section again, and this time they had Christmas M&ms, but not the mint kind. Get with the program walmart!  but then Kylie and I ran over to Albertsons to get something walmart doesnt carry, when what to my wondering eyes did appear? Those wonderful holiday mint m&ms!!!! They were just screaming out to me- "we are here, we are here we are here!" So I nabbed a bunch of those delightful delicious treats, and the jackson household is currently in a state of mint m&m bliss! Glory glory hallelujah! So since that time, I have been on the look out for the peppermint m&ms-- in my opinion the peppermint has a slightly more delicious taste the the regular mint, but now that all the other stores-minus that blasted walmart- have the mint m&ms, no one is carrying the peppermint ones this year. Dang the devil. I think I am gonna be obsessed with finding the peppermint kind now. But if I dont- hey at least until December 25th I can enjoy all the mint m&ms my budget will allow!

And secondly- those clementine cuties are in season. So juicy and sweet and seedless and easy to peel, and doesnt the smell of citrus just bring warm feelings into your heart? Plus after all the m&ms my family consumes , the clementines should counteract some of that right? Well maybe not, but a diet of mint m&m's and clementine cuties seems to be making my holiday season merry and bright. Like the song says- it's the most wonderful time of the year!!!

Time

My last post I did from my phone since my Bennie-booger busted my computer, and I thought I would jump back into blogging with my awesome phone, but I couldnt figure how to edit and even though I have a qwerty keyboard on my phone, writing a whole post took much longer and was harder than I expected, so I decided to give up blogging until my computer got fixed. I was thinking it would be sometime after the Holidays cuz my Daniel is always so busy, but when I mentioned that I was sad I wouldnt have a record of whatever goes on in our lives for the next few months as blogging is my form of journaling, he actually fixed it last weekend. I love that guy. I love that I can casually mention something thats bugging me and he does what he can to take care of me.

Halloween- came and went. Since it was on Sunday, we celebrated on Saturday by going to the trunk-r-treat. Usually I take the kids around to the cars and Daniel passes out the candy, but my hip has been really outta whack and it kills me walking around, so he took the kids and I did the candy. I had fun seeing all the cute kids in the ward, and the kids had fun getting loads of candy.

So since we celebrated Halloween on Saturday, Sunday we kicked off our Holiday celebrations. We got out the tree and all the decor and after church we blasted the Christmas carols while decking our halls. And since we were still in the 90's that week, we made "snow-cones" to have some kind of seasonal "snow."  (side story on snow cones-- after we went to Hawaii for our anniversary back in August, I have been wanting Hawaiian shaved ice like multiple times everyday. I love that stuff. But down here the closet thing I can get to Hawaiian shaved ice is a sonic slush-which is totally not even close at all. Delicious, especially when the temps are scorching, but its not Hawaiian shaved ice. Anyway Daniel being the thoughtful and oh so wonderful husband he is surprised me earlier last month with a high quality shaved ice maker. Its not a "snow cone maker"- its genuine shaved ice- so fluffy and soft and just one of the greatest things ever! So now I dont have to wait for 10 years (when we go back to Hawaii) for some premium genuine Hawaiian shaved ice--i have my shaved ice machine at home, and its delightful. So to the locals if you're ever in the mood for some Hawaiian shaved ice- we've got the goods, so come on over!) (dont you just love Daniel?- He is just so gosh darn great!)

when I was little my mom had made this advent calendar that was a wall hanging of a Christmas tree, and each day leading up to Christmas whoever got up the earliest would get to reach into one of the pockets and pull out an ornament to hang on the tree. I loved loved loved that wall hanging and tried to wake up earlier than my younger brother so that I could be the one to decorate the tree each day. Of course when I was trying to earn good behavior points so santa would still bring me something, I would sacrifice and purposely let him do it on some mornings, but for the most part, I was pretty selfish and even if John hung one up, I would wait until he wasnt around and move which ever one he got to where i thought it would look best. Anyway- I was telling my kids about that wall hanging and how I loved it as we were puttin up the advent calendars we have, and Kylie said- we'll why dont you make one. She for some reason thinks I can create stuff-- bless her, but the reality is I am not crafty/creative/artsy in any way shape or form. But I really loved that tree and wanted my kids to have something like that. The advent calenders we have are pretty much ones where they open the day up and have a candy kiss. So I decided what the heck and got to work, And I can now say that even though I am still not crafty and my advent tree is so pathetic that it cracks me up when I look at it, I did it, and my kids LOVE it! They are so excited for December 1st to roll around and have already been making a schedule of who gets what day. And the fact that my tree is so pathetic and imperfect and laughable, but my kids love it anyway, well that just makes me happy. I like this stage of life where they aren't hard to impress or please. In a few more years when they get embarrassed by my lack of skills, well maybe I will give them to the gypsies at that point. Time will tell.

update

so i havent blogged in a while, and missed a few important events in out fam, but am gonna try to catch up. to the few family members and friends that actually read my blog, i have been reading your blogs, but have been unable to leave comments for the same reason i havent been able to blog. so you can blame my bennie-booger. the hyperactive  child is really into destroying stuff, and the latest destroyed item is the computer/keyboard/mouse. luckily my dearest darling daniel surprised me with my new phone that also happens to allow me to blog from it. woohoo. (ben broke my other phone about 2 months ago and before the G2 made its fabulous debut, i was forced to revert  back to the dark ages of my old flip phone that was only able to make calls and very slowly text. thank heavens daniel didnt make me wait for my birthday to get this phone, i might have died waiting.)

so earlier this month we celebrated jamesys 4th birthday. he was so excited all day long and pretty much ruled the roost for the day. he got to go out to lunch with his daddy, which was his favorite part of his day.  we sure love our james and are extremely grateful he is part of our family.

the kids had a week long fall break, so we tried to keep ourselves sane by doing some halloweenish activities. we headed to the "munkin patch" and had all sorts of fun. the kids were most excited to pick out their "munkins" and we are planning to have a carving fest this weekend. we made our haunted houses out of all sorts of halloween candies, along with a bajillion halloween crafts.
daniel and i went to our friends annual halloween party, and poor daniel has just been miserable with this lingering cold, and thought he had an excuse to not go (not cuz the party isnt a blast, cuz it is, just cuz daniel absolute hates dressing up and only did it last year cuz he didnt wan to deal with "the wrath of Kimmy") but i dragged him to it again, but even though he wasnt feeling too great, he had a good time, and won the prize for the funniest costume. (he went as princess leia...originally i was gonna be leia and daniel was gonna be han solo, but the han solo costume looked a little too small on my extremely tall guy, so we switched and it was awesome to say the  least. for a guy so resentful to dressing up, he sure went above and beyond.)

the kids had their primary program last sunday, and i got quite a kick out of it this year.the past 2 years i hadnt enjoyed it from the congregation viewpoint. i was crouched beneath the pulpit trying to ensure a smooth program as that was my responsibility, but this year, as i no longer am in primary, i really cracked up time and time again watching and listening to the primary kids. they closed singing the song "i know that my savior loves me," and that brought m to tears. it was so very sweet. kylie did her part perfectly, and toast did his perfectly on his second try-(he got flustered his first attempt and shut down for a good minute until the sweet and kind primary counselor reassured him, and he was able to pull himself together. james being a sunbeam, just had to sit up there and sing the songs, which he did, but i cracked up watching him entertain himself. he turned his hands into airplanes and kept chasing the other hand/plane and then would crash them into each other. i cant complain though, cuz at least he stayed n his chair the whole time, unlike every other sunday when he and ben are climbing under, over, in front, behind and every where else. this was an improvement.

we are getting all excited for the holidays and since Halloween falls on sunday, we will celebrate  halloween on saturday and spend sunday decking our halls for christmas. i can hardly wait!

Saturday

Last weekend was a special one for our family. Kylie was baptized and confirmed. Since she is our oldest, this was a first for us. And it brought about a lot of tender feelings. We have been having family home evening lessons on baptism for the past 4 months, trying to make sure Kylie understood what she was promising her Heavenly Father. And we wanted to make sure that this was her choice- something she wanted- not just what Daniel and I wanted. 

She was kind of nervous about a month before, but her cute friend happened to be baptized the beginning of September, and we were fortunate enough to be able to attend. While Kylie has been to baptisms before, she saw this one a little differently since she was going to be baptized a few weeks later, and I think it helped ease some of the anxiety she was feeling from not knowing how it would all go.

We were lucky to have one of my brothers, my sister and her family and my parents come down to the wicked heat to support Kylie. And we were lucky to have Daniels favorite aunt and uncle, his cousin, and his parents all come down as well. 

My brother Travis gave the talk on baptism, and it was awesome- like everything that guy does. My mom gave a sweet and heartfelt talk/testimony on the Holy Ghost.  And then Daniel took our baby girl and baptized her. My heart was so full in that moment I thought it would burst. 

While she was drying off and getting into her white dress, my youngest brother had made a little video of Kylie set to a few of her favorite primary songs. We (Kylie and I) caught the last minute of that, and I was brought to tears. (We have watched it a few times since and it is just so sweet. Something we will treasure always! Thanks Johnny!) Then she was confirmed and given a powerful blessing by her daddy.

Then we visited with our friends/family that came, and after cleaning up, headed over to our house for a little feast.

My only regret is that I didnt get pictures after the baptism. And the only one I have of Kylie and Daniel before the baptism is blurry and cuts Kylie off, so I barely get to see her head. Darn it all. But she looked beautiful, the talks were wonderful, and we felt the wonderful blessing of the spirit with us that day.

    

Seven

Toast had his 7th birthday yesterday. He was one excited kid. He started his day with breakfast of  his choice- donuts, got to have a little lunch date with his daddy to the infamous Mr G's, had cupcakes with his class-(thank heavens he wasnt picky about those) and got to choose his favorite dinner as well- McD's--(kill me now!) After which he finally got to open his presents, and then ended with his Mario world birthday cake. (that cake was an adventure in and of itself starting with the baking process which turned disastrous due to my own stupidity, but considering that it actually turned out to be somewhat similar to what I was trying to do, the disastrous part was soon forgotten.) SO yeah, Tyler had a very nutritious birthday. (Note the sarcasm) But at least he was happy for the entire day!

So in honor of my Toast here are 7 things we love about this kid:

1- Toast is so imaginative. He gets in his own world of Mario or Star Wars and it is a very creative world. Sure George Lucas started the star wars world- but Ty has taken it to a new level.

2-Toast is smart smart smart. When he applies himself there is no stopping him.

3- Ty gives some of the best spontaneous hugs!

4- Toast has a funny sense of humor. He also understands humor- like in books or movies and it always makes me laugh when he laughs cuz he understands why a particular thing is funny.

5-Ty usually isnt afraid to try new things.

6- Ty is usually a really good brother to his younger brothers. I love that he will include them in his mario or star wars adventures and all three of them will go off pretending to smash goombas or saving princess peach.

7-Toast continues to teach me about patience, and unconditional love and forgiveness. Its true that my Toast is my most puzzling kid for me to figure out sometimes, and there are so many nights when I plead with my Heavenly Father to help me understand him so that I can help him be the best he can be- and there are still lots of days when I fail to understand and instead just react to his not so good behavior- but at the end of the day Tyler will always give me one of his great big hugs and will tell me he loves me and tells me that I'm the best mom ever, and I think- how can he say that when I totally overreacted and didnt understand why he was doing what he was doing- but I am learning that it all comes down to love- (cliche but true) Ty just wants to love and wants to be loved. And I love that about him.

Drinking

Around 2:30 this morning I was rudely awakened by a loud WHAM, WHAM sound. I freaked out, shook Daniel- who also heard the noise but hadnt jumped like I had, and brilliantly asked him-"what was that?" I dont know what I expected him to say as he obviously would have no idea what that was either as he was sleeping just as I was, but apparently at 2:30 in the morning I ask ridiculous questions. Anyway he got up, checked on the kids, checked out the house and came back to bed, told me he didnt see anything out of the ordinary and quickly fell back asleep. I tossed and turned and tried to calm myself back down, but I heard a few more weird noises that kinda sounded to me like someone was trying to break into our house. Now, on both sides of us, our neighbors have dogs. Lots and lots of dogs. They bark ALL the time. Drives me crazy. (not as crazy as the dog crap on our lawn that happens everyday without any kind of an apology, and without the neighbor cleaning up after his dogs, but that gripe is not for this story. Although let me just say- if I sent my kids to crap on his lawn dontcha think it would be considered extremely rude especially if I sent them there every day, never ever cleaned up after them and never ever apologized!?! Whats wrong with the world today! Have some decency people! ) SO back to my story. The dogs bark - a lot! So I finally convinced myself that since the always barking dogs were for once not barking- there really must not have been an intruder and my own imagination was making up the weird sounds I was hearing- except the big WHAM, WHAM which woke me up in the first place, but I finally convinced myself that it must have been a  big bird that hit the door at an alarming speed a couple of times in the middle of the night, and finally fell back asleep. I apparently dont think very clearly in the middle of the night.
Daniel got up to go running a little before 5 am. I slept right through his alarm and didnt hear him leave, but had asked him before we went to bed to wake me up when he got back so that I could get up and do my yoga without having to be doggypiled on by my hooligans James and Ben. So he does, but usually if I ask Daniel to wake me up, he does it very gently so that half the time I fall back to sleep as soon as he gets into the shower. This time he was all super excited to wake me up cuz he had something to tell me. Still wanting to sleep, but wondering why he was so excited so early in the morning, I finally opened my eyes to hear his story.
So Daniel went running with his buddy, had a good run, came back, and was gonna lay down on the trampoline to chill for a minute before coming in and showering, but upon opening the back door he happened to see some unfamiliar shoes, and a few feet to the right, sprawled in the grass was a young woman snoring away. Puzzled, curious, and slightly apprehensive he went and poked the sleeping woman-(age 20 or so by his guess) but got not a response. So he pokes her again- saying "hello? who are you?" The lady with her eyes still closed replies "drinking." Daniel pokes her again a few more times and says "what are you doing here?" She replies "live here," and is snoring half a second later. Daniel pokes her again and says "I dont think so. Do you know where you are?" She sleepily says "live here" again and is back asleep in a split second yet again. Daniel pokes her some more and says "if you live here, what are the ages of the kids? She says "huh? what?" and finally opens her eyes, looks up at the house and was like "huh? oh!" Nothing like the threat of being responsible for a bunch of little ones to wake someone up I guess. So Daniel hands her her shoes, and after getting orientated enough to stand up, she walks past him, goes into our house through the backdoor, finds her way to the front door and walks out. Why she felt it was ok to walk through a strangers house instead of using the side gate, I dont know but I have a sneaking suspicion one doesnt think clearly when drunk. So Daniel quickly locks both doors, and then comes up to me laughing to tell the tale.
We figure the loud whams was her trying to get into the front door, and the other noises I heard was her probably trying to get into the back door, but after failing in her attempts, she must have passed out, drunk as a skunk, to sleep in the grass for a few hours.
So 2 questions- why didnt the stupid dogs bark when someone was noisily trying to get into our house in the middle of the night? What good is it to have those yappy dogs if they dont yap when there is something amiss, yet yap all the time when nothing is amiss? I would think that by putting up with all their "crap" they should at least do me the favor of barking when they are suppose to. Question 2- why do people drink? Honestly- I really wanna know.  From the smell of alcohol I cant imagine it being very tasty, and since it seems to turn seemingly normal people into looney tunes I dont get the reason of why people do it. I mean really- who wants to spend the night in someones pokey grass, covered with ants and spiders and crickets just cuz you are too drunk to even realize its not your own home? To me that doesnt sound like fun, nor does it sound cool. Sure it makes a good story for Daniel to tell, but for the poor drunk girl- I bet she has a nasty headache today, mixed with a few nasty bug bites.
So morale of the story kids-- I really dont think alcohol is your friend.

8

Eight years ago, yesterday, I became a mother. I held my tiny precious daughter in my arms and I fell in love immediately.

Earlier that day, when Daniel and i woke up, we lay in bed discussing us and the future and how our life was gonna change completely. I was scheduled to be induced that following day, and so we were gonna spend that day preparing for the next. But as we got up and ready for the day my back felt like it was on fire. I was pretty sure I wasnt contracting cuz it was my back that was killing me, and as far as I knew, contractions were more towards the front. So with each contraction I was doubled over trying to ease some of pain while telling Daniel I wasnt going into labor, and that I was gonna be fine, just give me a few minutes. After the 8th time of the same scene repeating itself Daniel called up my mother, who then told me it sounded like I was in labor and I should go to the hospital-(my mom has been working at an ob/gyn office for years and years and years and in my opinion she is the expert on all things pregnancy related) and since she wouldnt tell me to go if I was just being a wimp about the pain, she was able to convince me that indeed we should go to the hospital. So we, meaning Daniel, packed up a few things into my backpack, grabbed his homework and a book or two to read, grabbed our camera and right before we were off, Daniel gave me a blessing. What peace that sweet prayer brought to me. I was scared about how everything would go and if Kylie was gonna be ok and healthy and was kinda thinking I was gonna die cuz I was in such pain- but with that blessing
I felt a warmth and a calm and knew everything was gonna be ok. So we went to the hospital, and after checking to make sure I was really in labor, they admitted us and soon hooked me up with the happy-dural. Needles freak me out like no other- especially one that size and especially when its going into my vertebrae, but I closed my eyes as tight as I could and tried thinking happy thoughts and then before too long I couldnt really feel the horrid pain I was feeling before. Daniel thought it was funny that I dozed off a time or 2 in the next few hours, mostly because any movie you see with a birth scene  the mother is screaming at the top of her lungs, cussing the father of the baby, sweating and looking like a maniac, but I was just dozing off in between the nurses coming in and out. And then a little bit later my baby girl came into the world.
What a miracle she was. With her ten little fingers, her 10 little toes, her perfect little mouth, her cute little nose, and her eyes- oh heavens her eyes- Kylies eyes were wide open just taking everything in. Granted I know its fuzzy and black and white for babies, but she was so alert and anytime she was awake- her eyes were wide open, and she always had this look like she knew everything that was going on.

So 8 years have flown by and in that time my love for Kylie has continued to grow. I am really so proud of my daughter. She is an amazing 8 year old. Since she is the oldest of our kids, she has had more responsibilities and has had more expected of her than the others and for the most part, she just takes it all in stride. Kylie has been blessed with the gift of learning. She seriously learns so quickly- always has. I wish I was more like that- I think I was more of a daydreamer  when I was her age, but she is focused and attentive and responsible and really loves to learn. Kylie is artistic and creative. she is fun and helpful and quirky in her own ways. She is shy with most everyone but her family, she is sassy at times, a bit spoiled, and goofy, and she has the attitude of a teenager at times and it cracks me up when she rolls her eyes like she is so embarrassed by her parents, as if we do anything remotely embarrassing.  But she has a kind and loving heart. She is an amazing sister to her brothers, an awesome daughter and just a delightful individual.  Oh my heart almost breaks when I think about how much I love this girl!
Yesterday Kylie wanted to bring cupcakes to her class, and not just any cupcakes, but the cupcake pops- you know the kind that bakerella makes. Curse that bakerella for making something look so easy. Holy buckets I was working on those silly things ALL day long- and they still didnt turn out remotely as cute as bakerellas. I am an amateur to the extreme. And another thing- holy freaking mess- my kitchen looked like a war zone!

so I take them over to the school- now Kylie has around 35 kids her in class, so I made 40 just to be sure there were a few extra in case some of them fell from the stick. By the time we got to her class, not only had they started to melt-(blasted freaking desert heat- its September- why cant we cool down yet?) but over half of them fell off their sticks. after all my hard work-- they were dropping like flies. I was irritated. But the kids didnt seem to mind and  thought they were cool and her teacher was acting like she was in heaven while eating one, so either she was a really good actress or they tasted fine just the same. While eating the cupcakes, her class gets to ask her questions. Her teacher asked her if she could have any gift in the world for her birthday, what would she like. Her answer: a baby sister. We are trying Kylie girl. We are trying.
After her little school celebration we came home and I tried to clean the kitchen up, but before I could finish, had to take the birthday girl to gymnastics, after which we had her birthday dinner, and her presents, and finally her cake. Kylie is all into monkeys right now. She has monkey pillows, monkey blankets, monkey pajamas, monkey crafts, monkey backpack, monkey lunchbox. The girl likes monkeys. So she wanted a monkey cake. My kids seem to think I know how to make cakes- ummm- yeah,  I am lousy lousy lousy at decorating anything- cakes, food, houses, anything really--(except my Christmas tree- I take great pride in that sucker! ) But I attempted it anyway. It was kinda funny how cake wrecked it looked, but my Kylie girl loved it and told me it was her most favorite cake ever. She knows how to butter me up I guess.

Anyway I am very grateful that I have been blessed with this beautiful girl of mine. She is a sweetheart and I  couldnt love her more.

Official

Its official! We are done with diapers! For the 1st time in 8 years! I feel the need to celebrate. Only problem is Ben still hates wearing any clothes now. He continues to strip himself as soon as I get him dressed and runs around naked all day long. Its driving me crazy. But on the bright side- its a little less laundry to wash and fold and put away. The missionaries came over for a little missionary correlation meeting and my little Bennie boy was streaking through the house. I felt my face turn red as I apologized for his nudity.  What to do with that kid.

James was asked to give a talk in Primary last week, and I had a short little poem for him to recite, but as soon as it was his turn, he froze. As soon as he was done with church he told me he was so proud of himself. I'm trying to figure that out. Is he proud that he got out of giving his talk cuz he refused to do so? Oh the mind of that child.

So the citys parks and rec have been having registration for soccer and baseball and a bunch of other little kid sports and classes. I thought Toast might actually like to do it this year- but when I asked him he said he has no interest . Daniel was quite happy about that cuz it means we dont have to spend our  Saturdays watching a bunch of kids trying to kick a ball from one end of the field to the other. And I wonder why my boys have no interest in sports. I am finally getting that it stems from their daddy's bad attitude.

Kylie started back up with piano. She stopped playing once her previous teacher moved and we searched high and low and finally found a teacher with an opening. Its all coming back to her rather quickly and that makes me happy. I love watching her develop her talents.

Daniel has been working long hours (12-14 hour days)- which drives me bonkers cuz I dont like doing the single mom thing all day/week long, but his company has been moving into another office and he has had to be there for all the different hookups and setups and all the moving and organizing. He's rather excited about the little move cuz its gonna save them a ton on rent each month. So I guess it will be worth it. Although if I have to deal with the kiddies all by myself for much longer we might all be headed to the asylum for a very long time.

Nudity

*****WARNING-- This post may contain some mild nudity.***********

So we are trying to potty-train the Bennie-boo. I hate potty training. I like the end result, but hate the process of getting to it. So we bought him his underwear and have made the switch. He has yet to make it to the potty. He knows when he has to go- he tells me- and we run to the bathroom- and he sits, for a minute- then tells me he is done and not 3 minutes later I am cleaning up after him- and not in the bathroom.  I think he is afraid to  actually do it where he is suppose to do it. If we are outside playing, then he has no problem peeing on the rocks, but since we cant being outside for longer than 30 minutes without melting, that doesnt really help much.
Yesterday Ben decided he doesnt like his underwear now, and after I put it on him, he takes it right off. Along with his shirt. I try wrestling him back into his underwear and his shirt but it has become exhausting cuz he takes it right off again and again and again and again. So I gave up.  now he has been running around like this:

"He's out there Jerry. And lovin every minute of it!"

Round 2

Last year Daniel and I went to Maui to celebrate our anniversary. It was FABULOUS! While we were there we discussed the future and decided that for our 9 year anniversary we would do something low key cuz we would have our newborn, and then for our 10 year, we would go back to Hawaii.  Obviously my plan hasnt really gone according to plan. So we adjusted. Since we dont have a baby, I figured this year we better take advantage while we can, and hopefully by our 10 year I will have my baby girl.

So we headed off to Maui last week. HEAVEN! We stayed at the same resort we did last year. Its one of my all time favorite places. It is just beautiful and peaceful and the view is AMAZING! I cant get enough of falling asleep to and waking up to the magnificent sound of the ocean. Tranquility- I need more of that in my life I think.

Last year we did several of the "must-do-s" and this time we wanted to get in a few more. So we went para sailing. I admit we were both kinda freaked out beforehand, not knowing what to expect exactly, but it was really fun. I was expecting to be whipped about to get up in the air, but the launch is really smooth and then the whole ride is so calm and breathtaking. They take you up 800 ft, so you get to see miles and miles and miles around. Then they bring you back in just as smoothly as they launched off. They dont let you bring cameras with you unless they are waterproof-which mine is not, and we didnt want to pay the 40 bucks to have the guy take a picture for us, so the only pictures we have are the ones that are sure to fade in our aging brains. But it was awesome.

We also went on a dinner cruise and that was cool. We met a couple from Oahu that were island hopping for the weekend and they gave us all sorts of good info. The wife has raised 4 sons, so it was fun to get her take on surviving the wildness of it all. Perhaps I wont completely loose my mind with my 3 boys after all. And if we ever go to Oahu and get into trouble, we now have a friend in the police department.

We went to a luau and the hostess for the evening taught us how to flirt in Hawaiian. Daniel and I will never say "Aloha" quite the same way again. And apparently the bigger the flower you wear in your hair, the more desperate you are for a guy- i thought that was funny, and spent the rest of our time noticing the size of flowers people had in their hair.

We did the road to Hana again, but according to some of the locals, there hasnt been much of a rainy season this past winter and spring, so the waterfalls werent quite as spectacular as before. I thought it was still beautiful and enjoyed it.

We tried some new places to eat, and that proved interesting. We also went back to some favorites from last time. And we thoroughly enjoyed the Hawaiian shaved ice almost daily. We got in some shopping for little gifts for the kiddies, and Daniel got offered some "Maui wowie" at least 5 or 6 times. I didnt realize what Maui wowie was- honestly thought it was just an expression cuz Maui is just so wonderful and who can help but say "Maui wowie!"- but apparently my little innocent mind was wrong- its what the hippies call their weed, herb, drug, marijuana. Or so Daniel says. Maybe he is pulling my leg, sometimes I cant tell if he is kidding or not.

Ultimately as wonderful as Maui is, the best thing about it was getting to spend that time with Daniel. We usually get to hang out in the evenings after he is done with work and the kids are in bed, but by then we are mentally and physically exhausted; comes with the territory of parenthood. But to get a little break without work and kids- just that time to be us- well it was wonderful.

Daniels mom watched the kids for us. I felt horrible leaving her here in 115+ degrees with our 4 wild rascals, but they had a good time with grandma and spent lots of time creating and crafting and getting spoiled. How does one thank someone for taking on that burden of taking care of your most priceless gifts? I dont know, but the gratitude we feel is tremendous. They were loved in our absence, and we werent worried about them at all.

So we had a marvelous time, and cant wait to go back. If I still dont have my baby girl by next year then I think we might try Kauai. But if next year we take it low key cuz I have another sweet baby girl to call my daughter, I certainly wont be complaining. So we are looking forward to the future- whatever is in store for us, we are excited. 

"Did I hear a niner?"

On this day 9 years ago, it was the most wonderful day of my life up to that point. I was slightly sleep deprived-(OK really sleep deprived) excited, nervous, giddy, twidderpated, in love, and very happy. My mom drove me to the Timpanogos temple, where we met up with my dearest darling Daniel, filled out some paperwork, got the low down on where to go and what to do, then my mother and I went into the brides room in the temple, where she helped me get into my dress, gave me a teary hug before we again met up with my Daniel. She was taken into the sealing room, and Daniel and I were taken to the celestial room.

We sat there all excited and slightly anxious, talking quietly and holding hands. (we actually got to sit for quite a while as Daniels sister, her husband, and Daniels brother had gone through to do a session in the temple earlier- and weren't quite finished by the time we were ready to go) Then the sweet temple matron came and escorted us into the sealing room which was filled with several of the people we love most.

A friend of my parents was officiating, and he started out by telling a story of a young couple that had come in to be married, but for some reason the bride ended up rushing out of the room before she and her not-to-be husband were to be married. I think he must have been telling us this story to make sure we werent planning on a similar scenario. But I knew without a doubt Daniel was the man I wanted to be with forever.

I hadnt known Daniel for very long, but I had observed him in several situations and got a glimpse of his heart. I had fasted, prayed, pondered, meditated, and counseled with my parents and with my Father in Heaven before this day and knew with all my heart Daniel was the one for me. So after I told the officiator that I wasnt gonna go running out of the room, Daniel and I knelt across the alter and were married for eternity.

After hugs from family and friends, and after changing from our temple clothes, we had lots of squinty eye pictures -gotta love the August noon-day sunlight.

Then we headed over to the church for a little luncheon. Since I am the 6th of 7 kids in my family, I had been to a lot of wedding receptions in my youth. I decided I didnt want to spend my wedding night standing in a line.(not that there is anything wrong with that; I love being able to visit with relatives, and friends and neighbors- but I just didnt want to do so on the night of my wedding.) And Daniel didnt care about that either, so we invited several of our closest friends and loved ones to a luncheon instead.

 

Then we went back to my parents house, changed out of our wedding clothes, finished packing up the rest of my belongings, and drove to the airport with my mom and dad. This was a month before 9/11 so my parents were able to walk with us to the gate. Then I hugged my parents goodbye. It was kind of a symbolic moment- even though I will always be their daughter I was now my own family with my husband, and that hug goodbye was like the end of that life- my childhood, the teenage years and the claim of being their dependant. I was now an adult- even though I didnt feel like one- and this was a new beginning in my life.

Daniel and I were flying southwest airlines, so we didnt have assigned seats. And since we were the last ones on the flight, we didnt get to sit together. I was really bummed as all I wanted to do was hold onto my husband as my heart was aching from the sudden unexpected feeling of loss from saying goodbye to my parents. Thankfully it was a short flight from SLC to Las Vegas.

We loaded up in Daniels old 4-runner (to this day he still misses that car of his) and headed to the Venetian.(significant to us as that is where Daniel officially proposed) We somehow got lucky and they upgraded us to a sweet suite. We oooohhhhhed and aaaahhhhed over the luxury of the room, and then we knelt down together and said our first official family prayer, thanking our Father in Heaven for the incredible blessing of being sealed to each other for eternity.

9 years later- I look back to the day we became husband and wife with deepest gratitude. I am thankful I get to spend my life with my Daniel. In the 9 years we have shared, we have seen lots of good, some bad, and Daniel wakes up looking at the ugly!  :)  

I really dont know how I got so lucky to have Daniel. He is amazing. He is an incredible father to our children, he is a man of faith, of integrity, he is kind, and patient and quick to forgive, He is loving, and supportive, helpful and understanding. He is a great listener. He is dedicated, he works hard, and he can always be counted on. He is an awesome friend, and just a super awesome all around nice guy. Add to that his sense of humor, and his cooking skillz- well I am a lucky girl indeed.

SO to you my dearest darling Daniel- thank you for making these past 9 years what they were. Thank you for loving me so unconditionally- especially when you know my shortcomings better than anyone. Thanks for being the greatest friend I've ever had, and for being the incredible husband that you are. Oh how I love you with all my heart!

And they're off..

These 2 were so excited, they were up and ready at 5:30 am. (School starts at 8:50.) And while I was happy that they were so excited to go, my heart kinda aches. Mostly cuz I'm worried about Toast. He is such a good kid, but he has a hard time socially. I'm anxiously looking at the clock hoping the time goes by fast so I can hear how his first day went. (please be ok, please be ok, please be ok)

Nose Trick

This is it. The final weekend before the kids head back to school. Sad to say gooodbye to summer vacation especially when we'll still be way above 100 degrees for at least another month and a half.

We've been trying to survive the heat for the length of the summer. Our city built a new pool last year, and luckily for us its just a hop skip and jump away, not to mention totally cool for the kiddies, and major good people watching for me. When we dont do pool days we've been doing the rain-o-leen. This is where my kids take out the hose and go crazy on the trampoline. Kinda dangerous, but oh so fun. My Bennie-boo loves water balloons, which he calls "pop-ay-boons" and we have now added that to the rainoleen of fun.

And when the kids are worn out from that, they are crazy for crafts. Kylie loves beads. She makes bracelets, necklaces and a bunch of other little projects with her collection of beads. Her little brothers love to get into her beads and our 2 year old loves sticking beads up his nose. When Kylie was 3 she also liked to stick beads up her nose. One night as she was lying in bed she stuck one way up there and couldnt get it out.  Daniel and I both tried to get it, but we were only pushing it further up her nasal cavity. So Daniel took her to the urgent care before we did some major damage. The dr described to Daniel a little object out of the nose trick and walah- the bead came out. I have used this trick a few more times in our years of toddlers discovering those holes in  their noses. All one has to do is hold the opposite nostril closed with one finger and blow as hard as you can into their mouth with your own and walah- you get the object and a few boogers flying your way.

How does a mother survive the grossness factor of it all?

addiction

Hi, my name is Kimmy, and I'm a pretzel m&m-aholic. Seriously. I am an addict. The first time I tried them I thought they were kinda gross. But after eating a few I couldnt stop myself, and before I knew it the bag was empty. The next time I went to the store I bought a bigger bag. It was gone before the day was through.(this time I had to share with my dearest darling Daniel and my little munchkins, but I admit- I still ate most of them.) This past weekend we bought the really big bag and it didnt last through the weekend. Now I find myself making excuses to go to the store just to get more-(which is craziness with 4 kids in tow- my crazy, hyper, rambunctious, energetic, wild kids. I do not like having to go to the store with all 4 kids, and do everything in my power to take any shopping trips when the kids are in bed, or on the weekend when Daniel can stay home with them. But I'm so addicted to those stinking pretzel m&ms that I load all 4 kids up just to go get more of those darn things. I cant help myself. This needs to stop! But I cant stop now, I'm ADDICTED!

Our summer vacation is starting to wind down. I am having mixed emotions about this. The kids start back to school in a week and a half, so we will have to get back to a routine. Get back to waking up at a certain time, getting to bed at a certain time, homework, yada yada yada. On the one hand- I think it will be great for Kylie and Tyler to spend a good chunk of the day apart. They have taken sibling rivalry to a new extreme. You would think someone sticking their tongue at you was like a bullet to the heart with the amount of screaming and crying that it causes. But I really like being on our own schedule. I have enjoyed the pool days, the movie days, the "pop-a-boon" days, the craft days, the cookie days. I have enjoyed making breakfast together without a rush to get somewhere. I am gonna miss the freedom of our own schedule. And I am really worried about how my Toast is gonna do for a new teacher and new class. He is a smart kid, but his little personality is a tricky one and he can be soooo frustrating when he gets upset and shuts down. I have been praying that whomever his teacher will be, she will be patient and understanding with this kid. Otherwise, he is gonna be miserable, his teacher is gonna be miserable and I am gonna be miserable.

Random change of subject. Daniel is a good guy. Some of the things I love most about him are just how loving and kind and giving and generous he is. He has such a good heart. But sometimes I get a little irritated with how good and kind he is. This probably makes me a terrible person- but we are having to deal with a frustrating situation, kinda because Daniel is such a good guy.
So Daniel home teaches this guy, whom is not active and probably wont ever be, but Daniel encourages and tries to be a friend to him. This guy has had a sting of bad luck, and literally didnt have a dime to his name. So a few months ago Daniel hired him to come mow our lawn. Daniel, being the good guy that he is, paid him generously(to help him out), and since then, this guy has been coming once a week, expecting the same payment. We dont need someone to mow our grass, especially not every flippin week. IF it was a priority we would do it- but its not. But Daniel wanted to help this guy out, so he gave him a job. But now the guy doesnt do a very good job, and still wants to get paid that "generous" amount, and has been treating the situation as if we are his own piggy bank. This guy comes during the day, when Daniel is at work and cant come home; This guy doesnt have a phone of any kind, so the only way Daniel can communicate with him is if Daniel drives over to his house, but as Daniel works 12-14 hour days, he hasnt gotten a chance to talk with him about this arrangement. As we were getting ready to head out of town for my familys reunion a few weeks back, this guy came by as we were heading out, so Daniel was finally able to talk to him. He told him we just needed a once a month mow. I was thinking we wouldnt see him until August, but he showed up today. It hasnt been a month yet and although I feel bad for him, times are tough right now in Daniels line of work and they have had several slow months, so our own finances are more strained. And as the kids are gonna need school supplies and clothes and backpacks and shoes I'm thinking to myself-- I cant afford to pay this guy especially when it hasnt even been a month from his last visit. So he mows the yard and then knocks on the door to let me know he is done- meaning its time to pay him.  As I wasnt planning on him coming over for 2 more weeks, I didnt have the cash to pay him. I texted Daniel earlier and asked him what to do- and he said to tell the guy that he would swing by his place later to pay him. So I tell the guy this, and he gets kinda upset and tells me he needs the money now cuz he has to go pay his insurance on his truck. So I dont know what to do, cuz like I said I dont have the cash- and this guy is getting upset. So again- I text Daniel- who tells me to tell him he can come over to Daniels office and Daniel will pay him. So the guy gets the directions and goes.
I'm not liking this situation. And I'm trying not to be judgemental- but the guy has been a gang member and has been to prison before and I'm slightly afraid for my safety when he is here and Daniel is at work. And if I cant pay him and he gets upset- I kinda worry that he is gonna beat me up or something. Now maybe I'm being a bit dramatic- but I dont really know this guy. I feel bad for him, and I recognize he is a child of God- and I know we are suppose to help and serve one another, but I dont like that it has gotten to this point. So then I think of my sweet Daniel and I think- dear Daniel, perhaps you shouldnt always be so nice. It might get me killed. And your kids will have to go to school without new shoes, clothes, backpacks and supplies. Love Kimmy-the selfish, dramatic, and fearful pretzel M&M addict.